Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
