OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The air taste purple.
Randomize
