At least make sure they are 18
Why
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
did i just pee glitter
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
