Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
