Moan for me like Helen Keller
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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