She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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