it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
