I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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