My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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