The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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