Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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