When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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