do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
