She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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