Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it's great music for shaving your balls
i would one night stand the shit outta him
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
