every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
