are you still at the devil's house?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
