id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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