I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
