8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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