gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
