I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
