You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
