If i come over, it means nothing
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
