they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
