Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize