she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
