Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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