k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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