Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
no you cant smoke seaweed
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
