She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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