Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i wish my penis had a tongue
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
