Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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