Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
