i jhust puked up my retainher.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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