Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
