Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
