living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
