Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
