? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
