I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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