he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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