my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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