why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
4 words: hood of his car
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize