Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize
