meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
