your parents love me but you hate me
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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