Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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