I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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