Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
