I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
