Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Bring me that man meat
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
