just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
