You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
