I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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