dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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