why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
