YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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