I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
